How’s everyone doing on sleep today? Because we know we weren’t the
only ones who lost a substantial 7 hours—tossing, turning, mumbling “Not
Elle Woods”—when we heard Reese Witherspoon was arrested for being a drunk mess.
But
let’s turn our attention to the most important part of this story:
Reese asking, “Do you know who I am?” to get her out of a bind.
The
“DYKWIA?” Card, a Get Out Of Jail Free card for celebs who confuse real
life with Monopoly, brings out the real narcissist in some and Reese is
hardly alone.
If this card were a foolproof excuse that you earn
after making so many millions, then it sounds better than an Oscar.
Also, how hard does the FedEx office employee ROLL HIS EYES when you ask
him to laminate it?
Here are the five celebs that need to pull out their DYKWIA? Cards, but this time to turn them in… Reese Witherspoon – She’s since apologized for invoking this blunder, but we didn’t think America’s sweetheart was even capable of this excuse, even in her subconscious.
Dina Lohan –
Routinely confusing herself for her daughter Lindsay, Dina used her
honorary membership after being turned away from Hollywood nightclub,
Villa. “Do you know who I am?” she asked. They did, Dina. You were
someone with a 15-year-old Ali also with you trying to get into a
21-and-over establishment.
Allen Iverson – In 2011, former
NBA hot shot Allen Iverson lashed out at the police over a traffic
violation – not using his blinker to change lanes and concealing his
vehicle registration over expired tags. Allen bragged and boasted “for
the next 20 minutes,” according to the police report, constantly
referencing who he was. “Take the vehicle, I have 10 more.” “I make more
money than you will in 10 years.” And, of course, “Do you know who I
am?”
Mark Foster – Desperate times call for desperate
measures. Foster the People lead singer Mark Foster was removed from an
intimate Prince concert at Sayers Club in Hollywood last year after
having his phone out, which is the first rule you don’t break at an
intimate Prince concert. “I’m Mark Foster…from Foster the People” he
begged to the bouncer who wouldn’t let him back in. We actually approve
of Mark’s attempt to play the DYKWIA? Card here. Hello, Prince!
Jane Fonda –
It’s an old Hollywood urban legend, but Jane Fonda was supposedly the
first to demand the star treatment and get a DYKWIA? Card with her name
chiseled on it. Rumor goes that she and her ex-husband Ted Turner
entered a Montana restaurant and used it when told she’d have to wait 45
minutes to be seated. There’s really no basis to substantiate this
story, but we just had to include this tired gem as a precedent for the
rest. Also, does anyone wait 45 minutes for anything in Montana?
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