While Fish is off exploring the new maps (That’s a thing I’ve heard
people who play games excitedly talk about, so I chose to reference it
in an attempt to seem savvy.) in
Grand Theft Auto V,
I decided to destroy a piece of, if not your entire soul with these
awful images. Granted, the Internet is full of way darker shit than two
whores whoring all over each other pretending they wouldn’t whorethrash
each other apart for a dollar, but take a moment to consider what this
scene represents. On one hand, you’ve got
Sydney Leathers,
the slop bucket of life failure, who targeted an already disgraced
politician for the expressed purpose of using his dick pictures to
catapult her — I almost wrote “career,” but I’m editing that to “period
of her life in which lecherous empty husks of greed pay her to perform
like an animal until she dies of AIDS.” On the other hand, there’s
Myla Sinanaj, the ass doppelganger of
Kim Kardashian, who’s so desperately tried to follow her Ground Whore Zero predecessor that she glommed onto the exact same penis, made a “sex tape,”
and now wants a reality show. The tragedy here is that these two are
real things in reality and somehow aren’t just the twisted ramblings in a
serial killer’s spiral notebook describing his perfect victim. They are
the supply to our endless demand of disposable freaks for us to
disgrace and shame then turn on
Duck Dynasty and go “Ha!
They’re eating squirrel pie! It’s funny because they’re weird!!” But
they’re all ingredients in the same sausage, that we keep ordering, in
fact that we keep
making as we slowly turn the crank on the
grinder, a thin line of drool running down the chin of our blankly
staring fac– Whoa, I’m not sure what happened back there.
*reads above commentary* Hahaha, It’s fine, I’m fine, everything’s fine here.
*goes back to cropping Snooki photos, left eye twitches uncontrollably*
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