Honey Boo Boo. Courtney Stodden. Farrah Abraham.
These are just some of the “stars” (this term used VERY loosely) who
unfortunately shot to “fame” for being a redneck, marrying young and
getting pregnant. But like all bad good things, their pop relevance has come to an end.
But
these 6 “talents” keep parading around Hollywood like they still matter
and nobody has the heart to tell them that their 15 minutes is up.
So,
we’re gonna be the ones to do it. Listen up, you guys, your time is up.
Do a season of “Dancing With the Stars” while you still can and retire.
Ding ding ding, that’s the sound of your 15 minutes being over!
Honey Boo Boo:
Honey Boo Boo’s mom June just announced that Honey Child, or whatever
the heck the Honey Boo Boo kid is named, is no longer competing in
pageants. Did anyone think she still was? Is anyone following the Boo
Boo family anymore? What are their real names? Sorry, guys, we’re glad
TLC gave you a huge paycheck, but we’re kind of sick of the redneckery.
Paris Hilton:
Paris Hilton never really DID anything, but from 2005-2007 she was
EVERYTHING for whatever reason. Skinny girls with small dogs were super
trendy back then, but now we’re kind of OVER Paris. Maybe if she got
married or learned a trade we MIGHT care. The days of socialites are
over. The Kardashians just got lucky.
JWoww & The Situation:
For whatever reason, Snooki went from “reality star” to full-fledged
cultural icon. People LOVE Snooki but somehow JWoww and Mike “The
Situation” Sorrentino couldn’t make the same transition. JWoww, we GET
that you’re besties with Snooki, but your time is sadly up.
Farrah Abraham:
Farrah was the only pregnant teen to gain any sort of celeb recognition
ONLY because she filmed a p*rn. It’s not that she’s a star, people just
love p*rn. Then she got rejected by Charlie Sheen and Playboy and
honestly that’s more than enough reasons to know you’re time is up.
Courtney Stodden:
Oh gawd, this “star” should have expired before we even learned her
name. Courtney Stodden is “famous” for marrying a struggling actor when
she was 16 and dressing like a p*rn star. We’re actually helping her
popularity rise by writing this story. Dammit!
Stacy Keibler:
Stacy Keibler is ONLY a household name because she dated George
Clooney. Well, guess what, they broke up. Look what happened to George’s
previous girlfriend Elisabetta Canalis? She disappeared, it’s a fact.
Stacy, sorry 'bout it, but there’s a Bermuda Triangle of Clooney exes
that you will disappear in as well.
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