Shakira: My Baby was Purple and Wrinkled!

You know how you can barely make out the mumbling that is Shakira’s music sometimes? How you didn’t know all these years that the lyrics were “And I’m on tonight, you know my hips don’t lie” and not “Naaaaah naaaah nah na, nana na no hips don’t lie” until you sang it at that karaoke bar that one time?
 It’s the same deal when she answers questions on "Ellen" in her regular speaking voice. Where’s Google Translate’s “English --> Shakira” option when you need it?
When asked if there were any surprises during the delivery, Shakira throws a curveball here. The biggest surprise to her about childbirth was that it results in a child.
“You know delivering a baby is not as idyllic as people make it seem to you,” she said according to Celebrity Baby Scoop, forewarning, “don’t expect that he’s going to be rosy cheeks, [a] cherub when he’s born…”
“I tell you when I saw mine, I was like, ‘Oh my God, he’s purple and wrinkled!” she said, asking, “What is this?!”
What that is is your baby, Shakira.
It also did a number on the pedigree of her body.
“I looked like a Shar Pei when I first delivered,” she said, “and I was like, ‘Oh my God, am I ever going to be sexy again? Is my man ever going to feel attracted to me again the way he used to be?”
Then at the end of the interview, Ellen surprises Shakira by bringing out a baby-sized rotating chair that says “I WANT YOU” at the base, but we don’t watch “The Voice,” so we don’t really get the reference and will have to ask our moms about this on Mother’s Day.
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