Justin Bieber Performing at The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show

It’s pretty much a given that Justin Bieber banged Barbara Palvin after The 2012 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, but now comes word that he probably also had sex with Miranda Kerr because Justice Scalia was right. The devil is real, and he is doing something besides making pigs run off cliffs. It’s this, he’s doing this. Via Hollywood Life:

Justin Bieber and Miranda Kerr allegedly partied together after the fashion show in Nov. 2012, which caused serious tension in her marriage with Orlando Bloom, 36. But did a reported hotel outing after the party lead to Miranda and Orlando’s split?
After the fashion show in NYC, Miranda sat in a booth with the Biebs at Lavo — but their night allegedly didn’t stop there!
Miranda told a model pal that she met up with Justin at his hotel after the party, In Touch reports.
No word yet on where they were in the hotel or how long Miranda allegedly stayed, but the two also reportedly exchanged scandalous text messages!
“She’s always very flirty with him” and they have exchanged “dirty texts,” a source told Us magazine about Justin and Miranda. Ouch!

Let me get this straight, so far the men (term used loosely) Miranda Kerr has chosen to have sex with besides Orlando Bloom are a shitty pop singer who absolutely no one can say with certainty isn’t Miley Cyrus, and a guy who likes to bang in Porta-potties. Fucking. Awesome. There’s no way any of us don’t rest somewhere on that spectrum which is also why I’ve poisoned you all. I guess that coffee really did taste different. MUAHAHAHAHA! *bedazzles penis, hides in shitter at a construction site*