The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 9.10.13

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed where I’m gonna cut right to the chase and tell you Kelly Brook‘s in the now sporadic Final Five position. Fun Fact: She recently dumped her boyfriend because he was cheating on her. Cheating on Kelly Brook. Short of a cave troll living in her vagina, I can’t imagine what it takes to make that seem like a good idea, and come to think of it, does the troll also have huge breasts? I seem to be getting off the subject here. Today’s random fuckery includes Antonio Banderas launching his new fragrance that people with business degrees actually let him call ‘Her Golden Secret,’ Tilda Swinton and some dude from every nightmare I will ever have from now on, and Abigail Breslin‘s now frequently appearing cleavage which has to stop immediately.
Right here, Olive. That’s the only appropriate response to that.

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