Jon Gosselin Waits Tables Now

Not too long ago, life was incredible for Jon Gosselin. His shrew wife left him, making him only partially responsible for the eight children she defied science and God to make fall out of her, and it was an endless parade of having sex with (un)beautiful women on the back of an ATV. They say, he would literally take the form of an airbrushed dragon and plow you next to a gun wrapped in roses. “Fucksession, by Ed Hardy,” he’d whisper in your ear. But then, slowly, the money stopped coming in thanks to giving Kate the exclusive TV rights to the kids so he wouldn’t have to pay child support. And now he’s reduced to waiting tables, an empty shell of the man he once was with a Bluetooth no longer proudly perched on his head letting you know his phone calls are super important, but still keep them panties off. Radar reports:
The one-time TLC star has taken a job waiting and bussing tables at Emily’s pub in Beckersville, Pa., leading one source close to the father-of-eight to declare, “Jon has really hit rock bottom.
“Just a few years ago, he was jetting off to France to hobnob in St. Tropez, sipping champagne on a yacht,” a source told the National ENQUIRER of the former reality star. “Now he’s waiting tables at a pub!
“Working the weekday lunch shift, he can’t possibly be taking home more than $40 or $50.”
When an ENQUIRER reporter asked Jon, who divorced his wife Kate Gosselin in 2009, what he was doing there, he said was there to volunteer, and left it at that.
In Jon Gosselin’s defense, working at a restaurant is always a pussy bonanza, so I’m willing to believe he’s just there volunteering. And by volunteering I mean sauntering in and moving plates around until someone gives him a handjob in the walk-in and/or calls the cops. They already have his picture up at Cracker Barrel.

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